Below are the 19 most recent journal entries.
Friday the 17th, 2006
it would mean more than you could believe to me if you came. every/anyone at all.
Thursday the 16th, 2006
"it is language that speaks, not the author."
deconstruction is just as limiting as modernism, and that's annoying.
Friday the 10th, 2006
I have the best boyfriend ever.
Tuesday the 7th, 2006
So, nevermind. It's not easy for me to stay away from drinking right now. That's all I want to do.
Chorus rehearsal reminded me of so, so much. I thought I was done being overcome by memories, but I'm not.
I started crying during the last few minutes and it just got worse. And I watched them singing. I guess I really shouldn't have.
I remembered the way he looked when he was 11 years old, and it killed me.
I remembered meeting them. I remembered all the time we spent together.
And every fucking thing we went through. It was so much more than most people have to.
Now I can't stop crying.
I just want to forget.
Thursday the 23rd, 2006
It's 5:11am now. I never did get back to sleep.
Saturday the 18th, 2006
ohhhhhhhhhhh i can't contain myself! this is my show and my poject! I just pulled this off the Marriage Records site! I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait!
Wednesday the 1st, 2006
Tuesday the 31st, 2006
there's so much hope buried underneath tragedy
I sound like I'm dying.
But holy shit.
I can scream like I'm in CTTS..
I think this new band might be exactly what I've needed for the past, um, 16 years of my life.
I would have never guessed I could make that much noise.
Saturday the 21st, 2006
don't be frightened by the storm
Last night I learned how much I can handle before losing my mind. Illness, finally giving up on old friends, a ton of dumb school things, very little alcohol, new realization & confession, and some really exciting things. I've seen a huge change in my life in just this past month. Thank you new year.
Thursday the 12th, 2006
I HAVE FOUND A REASON TO DO MY SCHOOL WORK & ANYTHING ELSE I COULD POSSIBLY HAVE TO DO.
If I can book these bands, I'll die. I swear to god. I don't think I could be happier. Can anyone help out? I've never booked a show before.
SPRING “FLY & DRIVE” EAST COAST TOUR WITH JASON ANDERSON:
Mon. April 17th – TBA
listen to THANKSGIVING: http://www.marriagerecs.com/sound/youbel
Sunday the 25th, 2005
this is the first day of my life
if anyone needs me, i'll be in my room FOREVER with my new love<3 tascam dp01
Thursday the 8th, 2005
fill your heart with smoke
I can't handle it when this happens. Nothing will ever change...
not one thing. Not one real emotion, not any interaction. I don't know what I should be learning from that.
I never know what to say: I know if I even say anything at all, I'll regret it in a second. So there you have it, the reason that "i don't know" a single thing.
Monday the 21st, 2005
if anyone has $30 and wants to make me fall in love with the world
Wow. It would truly make my life if I had this...
one red one blue and one white 12”vinyl in full color triple gatefold jacket with cdr version of same and a little insert for $30 + shipping
Saturday the 19th, 2005
I don't know what to say about last night, except:
Wednesday the 16th, 2005
the chapter is closed
Music is going to save my life.
Monday the 24th, 2005
I wish you had been my father.
Saturday the 22nd, 2005
A beautiful mess, stationary in space.
i know you didn't mean it and you're sorry that i left
Monday the 10th, 2005
there are times you can't make it alone
I knew going to the service was a bad idea. I knew it'd bring up all these old feelings.
Sunday the 2nd, 2005
i wish we didn't have to go about things this way.